Defeat Stagnation And Generate Growth

A month ago, after much deliberation, I finally took the plunge and enrolled in a new gym membership.

This area is the holy grail of my life.

As a life coach, it’s so important that I retain a feeling of motivation and there is nothing like a session of aerobics, soul cycle and boot camp all at my disposition to fire me up.

Up to this point, I had been a member of a different gym for ten years. During this time, I had retained the same routine, I knew the other gym users by first name basis and knew the schedules of most of the classes. I had even managed to gain a few coaching referrals whilst there.

Note to self and others; The best place to engage potential clients is not at a networking event or a stuffy business meeting, but at the places where you feel most energised, where you’re at your happiest and where you vibrate the best energy.

This is something the Harvard business books might not tell you. The mind is relaxed, you’re not trying to impress, simply expressing in such a natural, authentic and great way.

Going back to the Gym scenario.

In the past few months, I had noticed a sense of dissatisfaction emerging. I was no longer being challenged when exercising, and this is important in my growth both psychologically and physically. So rather than allow the feeling of dissatisfaction to continue brewing, I took the unprecedented step of lurking over to the other side.

Booking into a few trial classes at the new gym to test out the territory.

Walking into this new environment, I was taken aback by the electric vibe. The classes were energetic, the people on it were dynamic, fit and in turn, I was challenged in each class — the box-fit class particularly exercised places in my body I didn’t even know existed.

But this is what was even more interesting.

When I had finished my trial at the new place and stepped back to visit my previous gym, everything (including the people) looked old, antiquated and out of date. The machines sounded creaky (the noise was probably always there but I had never noticed), and I observed how tired and haggard most people looked. Everything looked dated.

Nothing had changed externally, but everything looked different.

This reminds me of how we tolerate situations as the status quo, ignoring the fact that there might be something bigger and better out there. We continue to plod on, never challenging life any further.

But one day we step into the realm of what optimising life could really look like and then step back into your old realm, you realise this is not good enough for you anymore.

I was so taken aback by the difference in the two environments, that I didn’t hesitate to close the door on the old and embrace the new, and I can’t tell you how effortless exercising has now become. Because I have people around me who are fit, committed, healthy and who embody this in every fibre and it motivates me to do more.

This is exactly what I love to be surrounded by.

I want to be inspired to strive for better because this element of potential is always ready to be awakened. The problem is that we leave it dormant in our desire to stay comfortable and not push ourselves too far.

There are some who will do anything and everything to keep away from uncertainty. So they stay with the old for years, I know I did — In every area of my life.

Think about the 5 people you most hang out with.

You probably talk, complain and regurgitate the same conversation each time you meet. One of the first things I ask my clients when they want to make a change is to explore new friendships, connections and relationships. People who light you up, who are doing great things and who inspire you to do more, be more and achieve more.

You can still continue with your old friendships, but I find that organically they drop around you.

There are those who wonder how I attend classes, drive out to far out places to attend a new retreat or go to the city late at night to give a talk or to hear a speaker.

“How do you have the energy?” They ask.

What I find interesting in this question, is that those who ask me have the energy to queue up in the freezing cold for the January shopping sales. They also have the energy to stand in line outside the Apple shop, bringing their sleeping bags in tow, so they can stay overnight if need be to purchase the latest iPhone.

But to attend events that encourage growth, it’s just too much effort.

We have time and energy for what feels important. If it’s the latest iPhone or the January sales, that’s fine, but understand that growth is a choice. More importantly, choosing where you place your energy and focus is up to you.

So why would you want to grow, extend and push past stagnation?

Surely it’s more comfortable to stay where you are and navigate through life making the best of it?

Growth is an active choice because you are forced to emerge out of your habitual reality and launch into uncertainty, entering places you’ve never ventured before — certainly not for the faint-hearted.

One of the ways I shifted in my view of growth, was quite a subtle but powerful shift. I had always believed that I needed to grow because I wasn’t enough just as I was. So the growth was emerging from a place of ‘lack’. Therefore the engine I used to power me through life was one of ‘I’m not enough unless I achieve.’

This brought stress, and more importantly, it was a never-ending journey.

There was no finishing line to this belief.

Yet a healthy dose of insight emerged, which showed me that my experience was no longer coming from lack. In fact it comes from already knowing that I am eternally resourceful and have everything I need, but I would still like to experience more. Because growing makes me feel alive, rather than spiritually dead.

The feeling is vibrant and exhilarating.

Part of growing into who we were meant to become is to expose those parts of us which are already there but have not been unveiled to the world yet.

I recently gave a talk at Google Campus in London. I had been booked to give this talk a few months earlier, and of course, I was full of bravery at the time. When the organiser called to inform me that the bookings had been flowing in, and at the last count it had been sold out, with almost 200 people attending, I felt like I just couldn’t do it.

The most people I had spoken in front of had been 70, and even then I always shared the stage with others. But a night with the spotlight on me, and speaking to 200 people, how could this be even possible?

On the day of the event, part of me wanted to cancel, but I also had such respect for those who were travelling on a cold winters evening to come and hear me speak. I also have such a desire to impact people, that this overrode my fear.

This was an area that I had not navigated before, and I just knew that another element of growth would seep in as I attempted this new hurdle.

As I finished my talk that evening and everyone had left the venue, I sat down and pondered how I had managed to speak for almost 2 hours. With people still walking in halfway through my talk. I realised that another level of growth had shifted that bit further. I felt so exhilarated that during the night I was unable to sleep, I was still fully alive and energised from the event.

Every-time self-doubt seeps in, I remind myself that as I grow more internally, my external life expands further and exposes more areas of strength and capability.

You might have the same.

You might be in a place of stagnation, believing this is all you can have in life, so you stop trying to scratch away at the surface to see what lies beneath. You give up.

I gave up almost 6 years ago, and then I woke up.

I awakened to the fact that I was far more multi-faceted then I realised, and I imagine you are too. You just haven’t woken up yet.
What tends to wake you up is a life disaster occurring. This serves to remind you that you are infinitely resourceful because you have to find the strength under tenuous circumstances — if you think you’ve reached the bottom of the barrel, you haven’t.

But what if you could quit waiting until disaster strikes before growing into the multi-faceted being that you are?

Discovering yourself as if for the first time, slowing down to what you’ve achieved up to now, to where your strengths lie and understanding that you are far more than your life circumstances.

Your life is simply the residual outcome of your thoughts and decisions up to now. This is not who you are, this is simply your current situation.

To move it into a different dimension, commit to growth, one step at a time, heading towards the direction you want to navigate to, however impossible it might seem for now.

Life is created one step at a time.

Discover which areas you need to grow, and hang out with those who are doing what you would like to, who are growing, expanding, and are positive, inspirational and magnetic. Surround yourself with possibility and this will make up-levelling your life something that is not out there far away, but something that is entirely possible for you.

It will amaze you when you uncover what is beyond those layers that have not been peeled off yet, by doing what you normally fear, what normally pulls you back from advancing, and push through the limiting beliefs that keep you exactly where you are.

Remember that life happens at the edge of your comfort zone, and in bursting out of this place of limitation, a process of discovery and possibility awaits.

What about you, where do you believe you need to grow further?

If this article resonated with you, check out my latest book Look Inside: Stop Seeking Start Living available on Amazon.